Research has proven that responsive parenting actually encourages a child to become self-assured and independent. When parents/guardians attend to their children’s needs with attentiveness, honor and respect for their emotional, physical and developmental needs, they feel safe, loved, accepted and encouraged to develop into their unique self with confidence and sense of self-worth. With proper guidance and support, these children evolve into balanced, well-adjusted adults.

Children need structured guidelines to assist them in remaining safe, while learning appropriate skills, values, as well as, social and behavioral functioning. By maintaining firm, fair, and consistent rules and consequences for children and youth, they learn what is expected of them and generally perform within those parameters. Limits can be altered and/or relaxed as children and youth demonstrate greater maturity and responsibility.

When expectations are inconsistent, children tend to test limits and power struggle. After all, sometimes they can get away with “it”. Getting away with rule violations teaches children and youth that you do not mean what you say, and you are actually not in charge of them. This can be quite confusing. Additionally, they learn that rules do not mean much, they can get away with stuff, and they must sneak or be dishonest. When they do something they have been told to not do, they feel powerful, yet afraid. This form of power is not what helps children feel secure. They need to know the adults are in charge, and keeping them safe. This frees them to relax, explore and develop within safe boundaries, and trust that the adult will be attentive and make good decisions with their best interest at heart.

By children knowing consistently what to expect, within a trusting, caring relationship, they settle down, feel safe, and explore their environments within the defined limits. Establishing fair and consistent consequences when they do go outside the structures, teaches them to make improved choices and respect the natural order. Discipline with love allows children to flourish safely and honorably.