During the month of June, I had the good fortune of spending several hours a day over a period of approximately a week and one-half with the most delightful young family visiting Kauai from the Mainland. Sofia, the mother, Abigail, the ten-month old baby girl, and Juan, the father. I am grateful to them for the opportunity to witness such excellent parenting and love for Abigail. Sofia was on the beach with Abigail on the days I was there. We sat nearby as the shade tree supported our close proximity. In admiration, I observed Sofia completely attentive to Abigail’s every need. The bonding was natural and dear, the love obvious. Abigail wanted for nothing. Her mother talked with her, read to her, taught her basic concepts and words (in two languages), kept her cool, clean, fed, rested, shaded, played with her, and consoled her the one and only time I heard her cry, ever so briefly. Abigail did not suck her finger or a pacifier the entire time. Juan also adored his daughter. He was such a wonderful father, showing love and thoughtful attention, engaging with her in reading and play, sharing wonderful stories of his beautiful daughter’s accomplishments, joining his wife and daughter one afternoon for a brief nap together in the cool shade. They were very friendly and so happy. I enjoyed talking with them and sharing precious time together, their daughter a unifying bundle of pure joy. These experiences are becoming internalized for Abigail.

Research has shown that providing a child with devoted attention in order to meet their needs does not spoil them, as some have thought. Instead, honoring their needs increases their self-assurance and independence. They become well adjusted in life. Brain development occurs with relatively minimal stress as a result of feeling safe and assured. These secure experiences become imprints from which all life experiences and relationships are gauged, and later resources to draw from when they parent their own children.