Children have much to say and express about themselves. They are unique, smart, sensitive, and aware. Validating their communications increases their sense of well-being, safety, security, and positive self-esteem.
Reflective listening is a skill ensuring your child is heard and understood. One must first listen and clarify the communication before knowing how to respond. Now, let’s review the steps to active listening.
- Acknowledge that you heard your child by saying something to elicit further information. You might say, “Wow!”, “Oh yeah?”, “Ouch!”’ “You’re kidding!”, “Really?”, “Tell me about that.”, etc...
- Ask neutral, genuine, questions to invite more information; such as, “Tell me more.”, “What happened?”, “What do you think about that?”, etc...
- Reflect feelings to communicate that you fully understand and accept what is being said. Acknowledging a child’s experience can help dissipate upsets. For example, you might say, “You look really angry!”, “You look sad.”, “You seem worried.”, etc...
- Respond accordingly. You might offer a solution, choice, reassurance, acknowledgment, opportunity, etc...
Check in regularly to ensure that you understand your child’s perceptions, views, and experiences. Demonstrating your understanding and support through reflective listening and responding will increase your child’s self-esteem, confidence, and overall happiness and sense of well-being.
